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everything gets worse

by Employer

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1.
there's just no way that we could be human when you think about it i've always felt more like a tree, and you say you're this god or goddess at your shrine i bend my knees to tell you that i'm here too often i am fasting in your name, so hear me now, you've been accosted so what the fuck? what other institutions did you crash? seated upright because the shoots beneath your nails don't hurt so bad at least not like they did don't you look at me don't take more than you need there's just no way that we could be lucid while we're trapped in traffic there's just too many goddamn roads and too many goddamn people on them i understand i'm not unique, but ordinary has me captive i'd intervene with inner peace if i could just stop needing your attention i could get us out of this all you've got to do is say you'll never love another kid more than you love me i could get us out of this had we not murdered three whole people i think that we should probably just leave
2.
orthodontia 02:52
when you start your day, do your teeth feel loose do you lose your way and refuse to move will you tell me that you think i'm cool will you kill yourself and kill me too i was digging through an open wound with my filthy hands and my rusty tools will you tell me that you think i'm cool because i'm trying really hard what a dirty way to live what a mess i bet i made them pick up human shit simple shadows in a cave we're idiots with cool hair idiots with cool shoes idiots with cool, sunken shark eyes did you show up late with untied shoes did the traffic suck, did you watch the news did you pack your lunch, did you shoot your school have you had enough do you think i'm cool
3.
if nobody cares, then it's all mine tracing the tracks i felt more of you than i admitted at the time the time is all compacted back inside the helpless habits of hairless, upright derelicts of countless uptight counterfeits and i am the worst of the bunch i'm the whole fucking reason we're all losing touch and it's not as impressive as it sounds I am the finest of print i'm the tallest of buildings printing businesses and it's not as impressive as it sounds i am a landfill i am a fistfull of pills i am the standstill in the way way way way way way back of you i am the last hope that this planet's got and i am a no show i am a narcissist and everybody here is just a mirror i am a masochist but everybody here can understand i am a human being as guilty as it is, it's getting easier i am the wonder kid who's likely sent to do more than i can
4.
i'm not comfortable yet with living or how i've been spending my cash i'm not comfortable yet with dying can't pay attention, can't care i don't hear when you laugh and it kills i'm a polaroid picture of myself developing into forgetful and proud my corners are curling i'll whisper a warning to anyone breathing your air come sit in hard plastic chairs we can talk admit we've been there we spat warm whiskey on cuts to be fair if it burns, then you know what i mean if it burns, you were thinking of me if it burns, then it's probably clean peal me from off of your shoe wring out your hair sing out your blues i read to have read so i've got no excuse to be using the words that i use bone broke enjoying a glitch where i wake up for work and then do it again
5.
when you ask me if i understand just know i probably don't when your hardwood guts gave up your lunch when your feeble fingers froze i was posing at the precipice of a long and wordy joke but i kept it to myself because myself is all i've ever cared to know when the paint won't dry your eyes won't wet and your neighbor's dog should die you should take it on yourself and you should take that puppy's life because someone else has yours and they boring, they are fine now if you can tell me two worse things to be, fuck i'll just give you mine 'cause i don't use it anyway i mark my time i guard my space i wait in line i hide my face i let my blood i've signed my name i'm miserable, but i'm glad i came
6.
i said that i'd stop calling your things other things we mean well, but this poetry's just poetry i know you need a needle when you're next to me a bubble in your veins, you human tire swing and there's no rest until we forfeit and we forget that it felt fine to leave our cell but lose our free time i'm not clean when you're not i'm not clean when you're not here your socks soak up the blood spilled from your knees it hurts to beg, but hurts just as much to breathe i know you need a nightgown and a softer scene you've been entertaining gargoyles amongst other things and there's no time our vessel's punctured, say your goodbyes and it feels fine to let our refuse replace blood lines i'm not clean when you're not I'm not clean when you're not here
7.
oh my god, my little bed ridden thing it's been so long, tell me what disease do you bring oh my godly reactress on a string i've known no hurt in this lifetime at least so you may retract your sympathy break ground, break bread without me go carry out your day shove my permission in my face i am watching from way over here with my dick in my hand, and god's voice in my ear i am praying, though it is out of fear that they can hear me tell myself why i'm here i love no one i feel nothing i am absent i am blushing i am shameful i've been lying i am careful i am trying while you were preening i studied double meanings i whittled out a wooden sword to hold against your neck while you were touching i kept myself separate and i kept my fucking ego in check it hurts when talk about it so we don't talk we don't talk about it to anyone
8.
you keep yourself tidier than most shapeless and blameless, a half hollowed host so i put my hands where they're not supposed to go and press until you're perfect and pure until you're gross so what do you say i could live inside you fill in the space you notice but are used to all that i need is permission to kill you wax paper, wax paper look what i look through seeing the sun through your eyelids, you relearn how to make light of the death that you deserve born to complain, you claim everything gets worse now your'e just sad 'cause you've got no good reason to be alive so open up nice and wide share yourself spend your time show me yours now it's mine
9.
white gold, black mold i have no soul to speak of i uphold elitist codes in the subtext, and the liner notes fight to puncture parchment veins children's scissors, ketchup stains understated caution tape part the plastic, i'm sure it's safe i don't want to be the one to ask i like to keep myself behind the glass it's easier to watch when i don't feel it easier to care when i conceal it clock in, watch out we are raping each other for profit map pins under muscles and skin mark the places you wish you'd kept private i am special, can't you tell by the way my sorrow bloats and swells beg and barter with yourself love me harder or go love someone else if i had some money. then i could be happy but if i where happy, i'd want to be sad so i guess that i've made it, but i'm still complaining because i showed up naked and everyone laughed when i look at myself, i see everyone else when i look at myself, i don't blink
10.
beige 05:27
i keep telling them this won't last like this is something i could work past, but it's not i may not look it, but i am impressed you cracked the code, you disengaged all the alarms now i have got to change my address to some under furnished little track mark in your arm no one's on your side but that's because there's no one here we don't deserve to die just because we're still alive not even i can believe that i feel better when i'm upset set up tragically to take the fall for you i am liquidating assets because we've got debts to pay and grownups to impress i still bitch about my bad back but i'm still framing, i'm still blaming this on you and all the features forged all the air you've yet to use they are far from paid for but you'll return them pretty soon we don't deserve to die just because we're still alive

credits

released June 10, 2016

mixed by: McKenzie Smith (Redwood Studio)
mastered by: Jesse Cannon (Cannon Sound Foundation)

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Employer Kansas City, Missouri

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