everything gets worse

by Employer

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05:27

credits

released June 10, 2016

mixed by: McKenzie Smith (Redwood Studio)
mastered by: Jesse Cannon (Cannon Sound Foundation)

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Employer Kansas City, Missouri

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Track Name: orthodontia
when you start your day, do your teeth feel loose
do you lose your way and refuse to move
will you tell me that you think i'm cool
will you kill yourself and kill me too

i was digging through an open wound
with my filthy hands and my rusty tools
will you tell me that you think i'm cool
because i'm trying really hard

what a dirty way to live
what a mess i bet i made
them pick up human shit
simple shadows in a cave

we're idiots with cool hair
idiots with cool shoes
idiots with cool, sunken shark eyes

did you show up late with untied shoes
did the traffic suck, did you watch the news
did you pack your lunch, did you shoot your school
have you had enough
do you think i'm cool
Track Name: no call no show
if nobody cares, then it's all mine
tracing the tracks i felt more of you than i admitted at the time
the time is all compacted back inside the helpless habits
of hairless, upright derelicts
of countless uptight counterfeits

and i am the worst of the bunch
i'm the whole fucking reason we're all losing touch
and it's not as impressive as it sounds

I am the finest of print
i'm the tallest of buildings printing businesses
and it's not as impressive as it sounds

i am a landfill
i am a fistfull of pills
i am the standstill in the way way way way way way back of you
i am the last hope that this planet's got
and i am a no show

i am a narcissist and everybody here is just a mirror
i am a masochist but everybody here can understand
i am a human being as guilty as it is, it's getting easier
i am the wonder kid who's likely sent to do more than i can
Track Name: pay bills and die
i'm not comfortable yet with living
or how i've been spending my cash
i'm not comfortable yet with dying
can't pay attention, can't care
i don't hear when you laugh and it kills

i'm a polaroid picture of myself
developing into forgetful and proud
my corners are curling
i'll whisper a warning to anyone breathing your air

come sit
in hard plastic chairs
we can talk
admit we've been there
we spat warm whiskey on cuts
to be fair
if it burns, then you know what i mean
if it burns, you were thinking of me
if it burns, then it's probably clean

peal me from off of your shoe
wring out your hair
sing out your blues
i read to have read so i've got no excuse
to be using the words that i use

bone broke
enjoying a glitch
where i wake up for work
and then do it again
Track Name: wall of revealing light
when you ask me if i understand
just know i probably don't
when your hardwood guts gave up your lunch
when your feeble fingers froze
i was posing at the precipice of a long and wordy joke
but i kept it to myself because myself is all i've ever cared to know

when the paint won't dry
your eyes won't wet
and your neighbor's dog should die
you should take it on yourself
and you should take that puppy's life
because someone else has yours and they boring, they are fine
now if you can tell me two worse things to be, fuck i'll just give you mine

'cause i don't use it anyway
i mark my time i guard my space
i wait in line
i hide my face
i let my blood
i've signed my name
i'm miserable, but i'm glad i came
Track Name: you and i (w/e)
i said that i'd stop calling your things other things
we mean well, but this poetry's just poetry
i know you need a needle when you're next to me
a bubble in your veins, you human tire swing

and there's no rest
until we forfeit and we forget
that it felt fine
to leave our cell but lose our free time

i'm not clean when you're not
i'm not clean when you're not here

your socks soak up the blood spilled from your knees
it hurts to beg, but hurts just as much to breathe
i know you need a nightgown and a softer scene
you've been entertaining gargoyles amongst other things

and there's no time
our vessel's punctured, say your goodbyes
and it feels fine
to let our refuse replace blood lines

i'm not clean when you're not
I'm not clean when you're not here
Track Name: businessmanship
oh my god, my little bed ridden thing
it's been so long, tell me what disease do you bring

oh my godly reactress on a string
i've known no hurt in this lifetime at least

so you may retract your sympathy
break ground, break bread without me
go carry out your day
shove my permission in my face

i am watching from way over here
with my dick in my hand, and god's voice in my ear
i am praying, though it is out of fear
that they can hear me tell myself why i'm here

i love no one
i feel nothing
i am absent
i am blushing
i am shameful
i've been lying
i am careful
i am trying

while you were preening
i studied double meanings
i whittled out a wooden sword
to hold against your neck
while you were touching
i kept myself separate
and i kept my fucking ego in check

it hurts when talk about it
so we don't talk
we don't talk about it to anyone
Track Name: training video
you keep yourself tidier than most
shapeless and blameless, a half hollowed host
so i put my hands where they're not supposed to go
and press until you're perfect and pure
until you're gross

so what do you say
i could live inside you
fill in the space
you notice but are used to
all that i need is permission to kill you
wax paper, wax paper
look what i look through

seeing the sun through your eyelids, you relearn
how to make light of the death that you deserve
born to complain, you claim everything gets worse
now your'e just sad 'cause you've got no good reason to be

alive

so open up
nice and wide
share yourself
spend your time
show me yours
now it's mine
Track Name: nature'styrofoam
white gold, black mold
i have no soul to speak of
i uphold elitist codes
in the subtext, and the liner notes

fight to puncture parchment veins
children's scissors, ketchup stains
understated caution tape
part the plastic, i'm sure it's safe

i don't want to be the one to ask
i like to keep myself behind the glass
it's easier to watch when i don't feel it
easier to care when i conceal it

clock in, watch out
we are raping each other for profit
map pins under muscles and skin
mark the places you wish you'd kept private

i am special, can't you tell
by the way my sorrow bloats and swells
beg and barter with yourself
love me harder or go love someone else

if i had some money. then i could be happy
but if i where happy, i'd want to be sad
so i guess that i've made it, but i'm still complaining
because i showed up naked and everyone laughed

when i look at myself, i see everyone else
when i look at myself, i don't blink
Track Name: beige
i keep telling them this won't last
like this is something i could work past, but it's not
i may not look it, but i am impressed
you cracked the code, you disengaged all the alarms
now i have got to change my address
to some under furnished little track mark in your arm

no one's on your side
but that's because there's no one here
we don't deserve to die
just because we're still alive

not even i can believe that

i feel better when i'm upset
set up tragically to take the fall for you
i am liquidating assets
because we've got debts to pay and grownups to impress
i still bitch about my bad back
but i'm still framing, i'm still blaming this on you

and all the features forged
all the air you've yet to use
they are far from paid for
but you'll return them pretty soon

we don't deserve to die
just because we're still alive